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Kathleen M.'s avatar

This is quite a story. It reminded me of a memoir called "Blue Windows" by a woman who was raised as a Christian Scientist, and also of Tara Westover's "Educated." I heard Westover speak in New Haven a few years ago and found it very moving. I understand your decision to accept that your brothers have a different way of coming to terms with the past – but how wonderful that you chose to live in a bigger world than would have been available to you if you had stayed with the Witnesses.

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Christine Beck's avatar

Thanks Kathleen for Blue Windows. I’ll add to my list!

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Patti Fusco's avatar

Very timely-there is a whole cult called MAGA that are following their leader blindly. They cannot see truth.

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Christine Beck's avatar

It’s sad. Because the need for a cult leader reveals pain and insecurity.

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Nancy Whitehead's avatar

You, Christine, and I share the same background, and I so admire your candor and courage in sharing your past. The "truth really does set you free."

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Christine Beck's avatar

Thank you Nancy! As always I appreciate your comments.

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Nancy Whitehead's avatar

And I really appreciate knowing you....your courage is inspirational and encourages me to come out of my protective cocoon of silence.

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Rob Walling's avatar

My uncle and his family converted to JW when I was about 10. That was it. Poof. Gone from our lives. My mother who was the youngest in the family had about a 20 year age gap with her brother and when she was young he was like a super hero to her. The severing of contact with the family devastated her at the time. His daughter was also brought up as a JW and she had a son who when he turned 18 secretly made my mother his power of attorney so that if he needed a transfusion there was nothing the family could say about it. The damage that all of this had on our family is long and complicated. I'm sorry that you had this insanity touch your life too Christine. I will never understand a faith that says to cut off all contact with your family if they will not convert. It is so counter to all the teachings of Christ, at least from my understanding as someone who isn't religious in the traditional sense.

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Christine Beck's avatar

Thank you Rob for your thoughtful reply. It’s a long hard climb back to trusting in a higher power when you’ve been raised with a cruel and demanding god.

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Deborah Nash Ott's avatar

This was a revelation, Christine, that this was part of your early life experience. What a journey you've had. I appreciate your thoughtful reflections. I have never been part of a cult, but I know, as many do, what it feels like to be ostracized. In my case, it was my decision to leave my husband. HIs "followers" participated in all the social cut-offs one would imagine in a case such as mine. It's a tough road. But you navigated it so well!

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Christine Beck's avatar

Thanks for reading Deborah. I’m so happy to have you as a poetry friend.

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Sharon Smith's avatar

Just read “What is a Cult” and think it a wonderful, insightful piece. So happy that you were able to see your way clear of the mental, emotional and spiritual constraints of staying with the Witnesses.

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Mary Russell's avatar

Growing up with a defined and rigid set of beliefs is akin to forming an unseen second skin. Takes attention to feel it and determination to shed it. Your moving story proves that it can happen.

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Christine Beck's avatar

Mary! Your analogy of the unseen second skin is brilliant. Thank you for that insight.

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Kevin C's avatar

I didn't realize the JW were so much like Scientologists, or what I've heard of Scientologists. The glimpses of your family life are fascinating, particularly what drove your mother into the church.

In my neighborhood in Queens, many missionaries are posted along a busy street. I was in the local subway station yesterday and, along a 50-foot stretch, four pairs of missionaries with their pamphlet racks waited for people to talk to. It was a rainy day, so they came in off the street. I was struck by how many were posted in such a small space. In all the times I've seen them in the neighborhood, I've only seen them talking among themselves. I don't think I've ever witnessed a passerby stopping.

The Watchtower buildings in Brooklyn Heights have all (I think) been converted to luxury housing. One large building in particular loomed over the neighborhood and welcomed cars coming over the Brooklyn Bridge with a huge "Watchtower" sign painted onto the building top. I expect the church got a very good price.

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Christine Beck's avatar

Thanks Kevin for your thoughtful reply. When I first moved to Manhattan in 1975 I lived in Brooklyn Heights and could see that watchtower sign looming over me as I went for my daily run and yes, the method of standing on the corner with the watchtower and awake has never struck me as the best way to get a conversation going!

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